What does one do when they have copus amounts of free time?
….they do what they love.
So if you’d ever like clarity on what you should be doing with your life, start looking to your interests. Another key factor to weigh in is asking other people what makes you so great.
What really sets you apart from others! What is your magic, unique to you?
Others see us differently than we see ourselves and it’s important to accept the kind views your closest friends and allies think about you. If there’s resistance to their answers it probably just means you have low self-esteem in that area. So dig deeper into why you don’t agree with the positives traits others are noticing in you.
Next you can begin combining these things and start contemplating where YOU land.
For me, I began asking myself questions like how can I combine what I’m naturally good at with things I enjoy doing…. then I continued not to analyze but instead continued to DO the things I enjoy doing….and I did them more and more!
It actually wasn’t until a very painful emotional reaction trigger from my past relationship when I saw him literally blow up on my social media, that I found my answer. I saw a photo of him in a business setting I used to love, doing great and I wept.
I think I used to end there. You know, at the crying and then go right to blaming…and jealousy and fear and anger and all those unpleasant emotions we hate feeling but instead I asked myself to go deeper….
…so I wept more. I cried and I cried and I asked myself what I was feeling…
Jealousy. That’s what I replied… and maybe the old me would’ve stopped there but I didn’t…
…I decided to ask why.
As I continued to ask myself questions, show empathy for my own hurts and delve deeper into actually listening to my own words and feelings did I find the true upset.
I wanted that success back. I wanted to be that girl beside him….
The pain was rejection and the goal was success.
Perfect, now I had an answer….I wanted to feel validated by my own success. This knowing allowed me to be my own caregiver and I won’t lie, I actually held myself, told myself it was ok that I was feeling these things and that I was going to make sure I could fulfill this on my own, for myself.
So I immediately opened my journal and wrote “What does success mean to you Alison?” and “How can you validate that for yourself?”
I defined success (to me) as doing something you love while earning an income doing it. That to me is success. If I am happy with what I’m doing and I have money to support myself, my dependants and my life I am successful in my own eyes.
So that led to me making time to come up with a plan and a vision for what that meant to me.
I don’t want to spoil the surprise right now but I promise I will eventually share what things in my success vision look like and hopefully I’ll eventually share how things ARE.
The moral of this story is FEEL your feelings. It’s the biggest change I’ve made in my life…..aside from connecting to my spiritual self and becoming a vegetarian. One could argue that I always felt my feelings as I did cry and express my feelings….but it wasn’t in a healthy way. Nor did I care for myself and my own feelings. I expected others to change to make me feel ok. As a result I suppressed them, or over-reacted… I didn’t feel them fully.
…..when I opened up to my feelings they gave me so many answers and only in that awareness could I choose to change my perspective.
Please don’t think I’m fine all the time because I post happiness. I am only happy because I am actively and consciously releasing, validating and ACCEPTING all my negative feelings.
Emotions aren’t supposed to be permanent…. let them go 🙂
Honour and accept them and just let them go.
Stop holding onto things that weigh you down and keep your light from shinning! Grab your pen, put the sad tunes on and go inwards! I promise you the inner workings of your individual world are vast, knowledgable and creative.
Love & Light,