I remember over a year ago while I was in a therapy session with Chad; a therapist I worked with in the past that helped me along my healing journey.
I was so negative when I met him and I was always complaining, focusing on how my life would be better once I was _________ [insert with my true love, had that promotion, made more money, look better, obtained this, achieved that, won the lottery etc]. I liked working with Chad because he would just listen to me and always drew out some cool diagrams that I still refer to today!
One of his suggestions for me was to start writing down 5 positive things each day….
Every. Single. Day.
Who knew it would evolve into a way of being.
So every day I write out things I’m grateful for….
….at first it was actually extremely difficult, as I was aways so focused on everything that was going WRONG, not right. How was I even going to come up with 5 things?! and Chad did 10….TEN per day! Unless I was going to be consuming mass quantities of ice cream daily I just didn’t believe I’d be able to get there.
I decided to buy a calendar agenda and I listed my gratitudes each day…
It started slow with small things, point-form. If I forgot a day I’d try to go back or I’d skip them entirely. I just kept at it, the point wasn’t to beat myself up when I failed but to keep going on despite that I would mess up.
Eventually I stopped using the agenda because I begun to notice that my journal was containing more positive entries that were full of gratitude. I just begun naturally noticing and thus writing about things that I was happy for 🙂
It was never something I decided to do or got discouraged about when and/if I was mad… I just kept moving forward and kept being grateful for what I did have. Keeping my focus there, not on what I lacked. Then over time and with out even realizing it, I started writing gratitude posts on my instagram. It wasn’t until maybe a month ago that I noticed how many of my posts were just “I’m grateful for…”
….truth be told I actually thought maybe I’m being perceived like a fake annoying loser 😛 HAHA! Believe me people I still cry almost daily over stupid crap and I complain and get angry…actually I get angry AF, my 4 yo called me an effin b*tch the other night – so don’t worry #notperfect
Anyway, as I become more focused on the positives in my life…..
….more good things kept happening. It has come to the point where I’m so grateful and thankful for the things I am offered, the people I meet, the experiences I get to explore and the tribe of supporters I have in my life that some days I just cry out of pure bliss.
I am feel humbled.
Life is so great! It IS what you make it 🙂
So CHEERS to GRATITUDE!
It’s ok to hurt, to feel, to be angry and hate! ALL of your feelings are real and should definitely be explored, felt and validated….but when you walk a path of gratitude depression fades and ego shrinks….judgement fades and humility washes over you.
Do I wish I had more? Sure, who doesn’t but what is it you really need?
Ask yourself and get honest.
For most of us the answer is LOVE.
Find gratitude and you shall find the heart….
….and with an open heart, you can feel the love you crave ❤
You are loved,
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones” – Confucius