It’s that time in the month again. Usually it falls about two days before the month ends, but it’s not completely unusual for me to wipe my whiteboard wall calendar clean even up to a week before the months switch over. This is because I regularly fill my calendars with clear set intentions, organized in a way that look to be something of a mad scientist in both style and print. There are always affirmations everywhere by the time the end of the month draws near.
If you ventured into my apartment it would a) be a great honour because my life is legit on the walls but also b) tell you my current position in regards to my mission as a warrior here. I believe words are magic and that it can be powerful to write down things you wish to achieve. It’s not uncommon for me to finally feel like I have the clear overall picture only to wipe the slate completely clean during shifts in the rhythms of muggle life. Though I do connect with my mission through the Trees on the regular, I am beginning to realize that part of the journey is it’s fluidity. It is more about being present in the process than it is about anything else. As the energies shift, so do my directions and because we humans are born to forget what we came here to do, it makes knowing my core life purpose a difficult thing to fully hone in on. The deepest truth that I feel currently is that I am here to serve as a Warrior of the Forest, a Keeper of the Tree Spirit Medicine. Due to both the lack of understanding and research in regards to Tree communication a Nature Warrior walking this path will find themselves aligning with many other Lorax, each delivering their connection and service to the Trees in a different way. I have created a simple page on this site, where as I find them, I will add helpful Lorax Souls that walk among us right now on Earth. These are the Tree’s people and for that reason and that reason alone I know it is of my path to serve them as well. I must serve all those who serve the Trees, for it is they I am here to protect. It is they who I am told my path of service, it is the Trees and the Trees alone that I obey without waiver. For serving them is my deepest truth.
Anyway, that was intense and my calendar is calling to me. Yes the good old calendar swap! That’s just what I needed to take these new embodied truth to the next level. Life can be difficult when you’re aware of what your soul mission is but you are reluctant to accept it. I mean, what does being a Warrior of the Forest even mean? Why was I selected as one of the Tree’s Keepers? How is it that my energetic healing channels keep evolving to new Tree streams of consciousness? To be honest I don’t even know. It took a lot for me to eventually surrender and trust what I was experiencing. A year ago I wasn’t where I am today and truth be told sometimes I get scared for what my core truth might look like in another year. I feel like “What the fuck will happen if I keep going?!” Like kept becoming who I am in my imagination, at my greatest level of joy, where I am one with the Trees and all is well in the Forest? …I just couldn’t even think about it.
So as I looked at the clean, gleaming white surface of my Dream Vision Board, I took out a green dry erase marker and wrote the following words without much thought;
“There’s not such thing as imagination anymore. Everything is real”
– Alison Wright/NG
What the fuck kind of start to a month, or new year, as someone following Nature, is that? There is was in green ink there, written like I was some special person and this was going to be the quote of 2020 that replaced the late Picasso’s “Everything you can imagine is real”. I just stared at it. Contemplating the magnitude of what I had just created for myself. If I eliminate imagination and just accept that as reality I can only assume that right now, what April needed to look like more than anything was devotional training. I was about to have to get super strong, smarter and develop a means of preparation to return back to Mother Nature. I had always wanted to meet Mother Nature, though I don’t imagine she’d want to meet me until I had done a lot more in her service. The Trees did keep pushing me to make the necessary changes, so did the Arch Angels. As a side tangent, I would like to say that everyone always claims Angels are so nice and loving a caring…and though that can be true in their vibration of their energy. If you have to report to them, they can be far from anything that one would deem loving. Michael felt much like a bold adversary that had my back only if I had fucked up to a level I really needed him, otherwise he would simply be there, supportive only in space held for me as I worked through each hurdle along my path. Anyway my connection with the Angelic Realm is a story for another day. If you think my devotional service to the Trees is weird AF, you wouldn’t even belief my truths surrounding the Warrior Angels… let’s just say that fallen angels are real to me and if you happen to be one, you will have your karmic clearing cut out for you.
Anyway, what a side story, but hey, that’s me! Heck, I don’t even know what that means in regards to my mission to serve the Trees as a Warrior. All I know is that this feels right, and I’ve learnt to follow what feels right. Not what feels good, but what feels right. I used to think they were the same but lots of things feel good… and fuck, I like you, have vices, I love weed and as a dancer I need to be treating my body better. I’m actually a shitty fucking warrior to be honest, but I have kept going at the pace I have been capable of. Don’t get me wrong I’m so proud of myself for getting where I am today but you are missing the point! Now I KNOW I am a Warrior of the Forest. I KNOW this to be true. So denial of ones core mission feels like trying to escape from the self. It’s an awful feeling and the more you forge deeper into your unique truth the more difficult it becomes to hide it. I am a container of the Tree Spirit Medicine and that I have also managed to gain access to the Mother’s womb energy and full embody it. Both of these new unlocked Tree streams of energetic consciousness are an extreme honour to embody. I am also finally gaining a better understanding of what is happening within my avatar and therefore finally feel ready to learn more from teaching others how to hold this powerful healing gift. So that’s feeling really exciting. Scary, also scary, but definitely exciting. I look forward to deepening my level of authentic service. This is how the Trees would have me serve them, for others along the path, it might look different.
I’m not sure why I decided to type this out tonight. I feel weird writing directly about my life. However, I am writing a Story and as much as one day I hope to perform the role of myself and/or direct it. I find myself wondering why I’m not just letting you join into the live action reality parts of the Story Series I hope to create when spirit and energies align. I am not attached to this story. I used to be, but now I am quite fluid in it. The only reason I haven’t stopped creating it was because of a few things:
- It was my Dream Vision Board’s original intention for 2020 (so that carried a lot of power)
- It has never stopped FLOWING out of me.When things flow, that’s when you know they’re good for you.
- If it has served NO ONE – It served me. I have healed immensely throughout this creative process.
- It will serve the Trees, as I serve them; so does my story.
The only real reason I started writing a story to begin with was because my truth seemed too fantasy and make-believe. However, now I’ve come to realize I should’ve just been including you all along my quest to become a Tree Keeper….because it has been a challenging honour to earn. Looking back I’m not sure why I didn’t share with more people what I was experiencing or how I was led into the depths of my service through my connection and devotion to the Tree Elders. I just don’t know why I chose to focus on its dramatized fantasy version but then I remember oh ya! Dancing, Imagining and Acting out with Nature and Movement is what my soul lives for. So ya, I guess I’ll keep writing the Series but I thought fuck it! Why not also blog real-time about it. Who knows maybe this is a chapter right now.
Also the Story Series has always felt divinely guided. I trust the story. That’s actually why I am able to be a more truer version of me, because my reality mirrors my story and vice versa…. So I often either write with care and deep awareness, or I wait and allow life to inspire me. In inspirational “song downloads” I can get lost for days. Dance is a large way I am transmitted collective information. So dancing allows me to gain access to collective informational streams I wouldn’t be able to without it. This is why dancing in nature and with the Trees is so important to me. I prefer co-creating in the TREES streams of consciousness because not only do they know what love would do in every situation but they ground me in my truth. Which in turns helps me more easily ground my dreams into the physical reality. Trees are potent gateways connected to all realms. If you’re still reading this and you’re a dreamer or magic seeker I would suggest sending as much time as you can imagining in the Trees.
..then watch your dreams bud like spring flowers on a hawthorns magical branch.
Anyway, I ended up going to bed and woke up super early with this intention of finally becoming the Warrior I am being so deeply guided to in my heart. The Trees need me to take my role seriously and as a playful woodland fairy energy I just rarely do. I respect them alright, I devote time to their wisdom, I respect what they share.
However, overall I find discipline difficult and structure even more so. However, the Elders have granted me with a new level of Tree Spirit Energies and in exchange I plan to take my job more seriously. So I boldly pulled out a purple marker and wrote the following April affirmations on my whiteboard calendar:
- I am devoted.
- I am focused.
- Train like a Warrior Angel (I have deep bonds with the Arch Angels, especially Michael, so I plan to actually begin listening to them :P)
- The month to RECEIVE – Open.
- Be present and live in your truth.
- Be the balanced Doe – have the courage to be vulnerable emotionally.
That’s all that is up there so far but it’s not even April until tomorrow and whiteboards are great because they can be easily erased, shifted and changed. I am a firm believer in holding intentions and using affirmations… I guess those aren’t necessarily affirmations and more like tasks or goals or statements. I can’t wait to see the grandfather Oak today and ask for his input if he will offer it. So perhaps I can tell you about our encounter at a later date.
In closing I would always advise that if you wish to be devoted to anything, you begin to make room for it in your life. Trees are easy for me to make time for, however, now that I have been called into service, it becomes more difficult to make time for the training required to serve them. However, I have numerous allies and I am creating a Nature Warrior morning regiment so I can more diligently follow it. ….Yoga, yoga needs to be added onto the list. I actually ran over to the board, pulled out that purple marker and wrote:
- You need Yoga. April – do it everyday. Start the year off right.
Wow… parts of me can feel myself failing already,
as I instantly observe that I’m glad it’s March 31st and not April yet. Sigh. Will I ever be strong enough to help save the forest? Will I ever be fit enough to enter into the dark battles my soul can feel coming for us in the future? Will I ever be able to rise up into the shell of a being I wish I could be? Will I ever be able to train and lead those who are looking for a leader to follow?
Time will tell.
Until then, I will be lost in the Forest and dancing throughout the Trees. Dance is an important part of my role here for the Trees…. but I will save that story for another day.
Honoured to serve you,